Dancer.

Your long, dark limbs
twist and turn
jumping
leaping
arms soaring in the cool air
legs stretching toward the heavens
defying the rules of what
a human body should be able to do
acknowledging gravity
but refusing to submit to it
telling a story without words
consoling a broken heart with no lyrics
changing a life through your movement,
your art
powerful
inspiring
moving,
full of joy
fear
sorrow
confusion
Small, but strong motions
to keep you grounded
then with enthusiastic
optimistic
frightened
hesitant
limitless
radiance
your improvisational excellence
your magnificent dance
has finally
depicted
what I've always been afraid to say,
No words
No lyrics
Only you,
with enough drive
passion and
precision
to take flight.

Rest.

Yesterday
I saw death on the face
of the most beautiful human being
to have ever graced Earth.

Death looked me in the eye
squeezed my hand
and told me to never give up
and that miracles can happen.

But I watched the life of
a walking, living miracle
fade into a cold, sullen, yet
peaceful state of consent
and understanding
or submissive surrender
to the harsh grip of death
that she finally let
overtake her gentle, loving self.

On that sad day,
the loss of one
broke the hearts of countless individuals
that are extraordinary people
due to the influence of her
magnificent existence.

Time will help us heal
and love will help us cope
but never shall life be the same
for hers are shoes that are
far too monumental to fill.

Dance. Sing. Live.

I want to dance
as the sun sets over the skyline
turning the horizon a pinkish orange
our bodies move together
as one unit
exuding happiness with every movement
we make in perfect unison
as though our affection helped
us perfectly choreograph
this act of love
in motion.

I want to sing
as your fingers run through my hair
listening to the sound of my heart
that beats solely for you
while i fall asleep to the slow
even breaths that fill your lungs
and exhale with a perfect, calming
rhythm
as though you were created
to make me feel safe and secure
while i envelop you in melodies
of a love that was meant to have no boundaries.

I want to kiss
passion sending electric shock
through our bodies as our
lips touch for a brief moment
then again, silent, quick
perfectly moisturized lips
tasting of pomegranate
making you crave more
tease your bottom lip with my teeth
as though one minute with you
could last a lifetime and
our hearts would remain complete.

I want to be held
not because i want it
but because you know i need it
our bodies fit together as we
lay down to rest
as you pull me in closer
and make me feel whole
with each warm, caring,
gentle touch
our fingers intertwined
fitting together
as though our hands
are meant to hold no other's.

I can dance
and sing
and live
but it all means nothing
without you.
For I belong to you,
You are the breath that fills my lungs
the love rushing through my veins
and my heart
is yours
beating slowly, lonely,
broken
but only
for you.

Race.

You told me to listen,
used condescending phrases to inform me
that technically we are all animals
if we are required to be literal and
scientific in our debate,
so you could try and justify calling me
a term used to describe farm animals.

You looked me in the eye
And sternly attempted
To convince me that
There is no such thing as race
That racism and generalizing people
Because of how they look
Or how dark the pigment in their skin is
No longer remains an issue.

In my society
This society that I am expected to bow down
And conform to
My African American and Native American father
Is expected to follow your orders
He is expected to let his kids grow up without a father
Not have a job
Drink more than he can afford
Get paid substantially less for the same work that you do
He is expected to speak Ebonics
Be a predator
Sell your son drugs
Rape your daughter in deserted alleys
He is expected to fill a spot in your jails
Another locked up colored that you have to pay taxes for
He is expected to barely have a high school diploma
He is expected to be a gun wielding gangster
He is supposed to frighten you
And he is expected to fail.

Fail as you box him into
Black
and disregard him should he choose to embrace
his Cherokee roots
strip him of his culture
make him your token blackie
continue to make it clear that you are and shall remain
better and above him
that he’ll never get his chance to advance
that being black means being guilty
and unlike you,
he will always be guilty
until proven innocent
because he has brown skin
worn hands
a defensive demeanor
and anger from generations of oppression
in his eyes.

I live in the consequence of his love
I am proof that yet another
black man betrayed his own
and ran off with a white woman
I am a product of what makes people so angry and
ashamed
I am my grandparents’ black granddaughter
and my aunts mixed niece
the one that’s a little lighter than the rest
the only person of color in the back of the class
the needed ‘African American perspective’ in the room.

Since I don’t speak Ebonics
rep the bloods or the crips
rob stores
shoot people when they rub me wrong
live in the ghetto
yell at the movie screen
get the holy spirit in church
arrive unfashionably late to everything
eat watermelon, catfish, and fried chicken
blame everything on the white man
fuck the police
or ‘whip it like a slave’
I am too white to be black.

Since I don’t speak in Shakespearean pentameter
shop at Whole Foods
adopt kids from foreign countries
have a token black friend
drink coffee only from Starbucks
read the daily newspaper
watch Jeopardy and the History Channel
cross the street when I see a person of color coming toward me
tell you that you speak really good English for someone of your race
drive a minivan or have my hair cut in a shoulder length bob
toting a ice cooler full of juice boxes for the kids’ soccer practice
live in a neighborhood where the only people of color are the people hired to cut the lawns
nor will I ever live in a trailer
bear my cousin’s kids
or refer to anyone as ‘you people’
I am too black to be white.

I am too ‘white washed’ to be black
and too dark in complexion to be white.
According to you.

You looked me in the eye
and sternly attempted
to convince me that
there is no such thing as race;
however, you are one of the very individuals
that refuses to cease
trapping me in
a check marked
box that you most closely identify me with.
Not black.
Not white.
Not even multiracial.
Not human.

Half-breed.
A word used for horses and dogs
because
technically,
if you want to be literal and scientific'
we are all animals anyways.

Channelling my inner T.S. Eliot

Je marcherai les yeux fixés sur mes pensées,
Sans rien voir au dehors, sans entendre aucun bruit,
Seul, inconnu, le dos courbé, les mains croisées,
Triste, et le jour pour moi sera comme la nuit.*

Extravagant words, elegant clothes, arrogant people,
Intelligent phrases, nationally known scholars, Princeton and Harvard alums,
Accepted verboseness shared over
Champagne, caviar, crème brulee

Ladies fasten their hair in tight buns,
Don dresses cinched up their backs,
Perfectly pinned brooches,
Gentlemen sporting suits and top hats
Cummerbunds and spectacles perched perfectly
In the eyes of audacious adventurers and explorers,
A pocket watch ticks in perfect time.

They dance under a lonely moon
Filled with a passion that will end too soon

Aristocratic soiree,
Why have I dragged myself here?
Tuxedos, dinner gowns,
I cannot even afford a thread of that woman’s scarf
I wonder if they can tell
That I pinned my own hair,
Buckled my own shoes,
This dress does not belong to me,
But they tell me I look gorgeous tonight.

They dance under a lonely moon
Filled with a passion that will end too soon.

Public transportation
I did not have a car to make my grand arrival in
The bus driver was rude
The man to my far left smells like popcorn
But you were on the bus
Seventh row back, right window seat
I wonder if you could tell I was wearing a borrowed outfit
How couldn't you know?

Fancy Dress
infancy transportation.

But it felt like you knew me
Everything, oh stranger on the bus
Did I ever tell you of the time I almost got stabbed on public transportation?
Or of the rapping, middle aged, businessman?
You can't remember, but I feel as though you've been there all along
You're no stranger at all.

She broke her heart the other day
Thus my heart was broken,
He broke her heart next,
The one left untouched was you.
What is it that makes us not good enough?
Too much or too little of what?
Isn't it you, not me?
Clichés that are worn out before they're even said.
I bet it's my hand-me-down dress
My home done hairdo
My lack of knowledge about which of the four forks I am to use first

Do I dare interrupt this conversation about communist dictators?
To ask with which of the thirty utensils I should use to eat this
Extremely small piece of what appears to be some sort of meat first?
Who would've thought we'd be going to the same place?

Your eyes catch me with striking familiarity
I've known you somewhere else
I’ve met your passion,
Felt your skin,
Smooth, beautiful,
Smelled your scent,
Pleasantly intoxicating
But your eyes, capture me
Burn deep into my soul
Reading my every thought
Putting me on the line between bliss and insanity

I have been the face of strength to the masses
While you know I have wasted away behind this façade
Blanketed in sorrow
And trapped in a haze that has risen from the ashes of what was
Ignorance and naiveté
This impurity and foulness
Has yet to make your love waver
And for that I fear you

I've seen the pain in the eyes of the starving men on the street
Young people stripped of their childhood
Sad women fixing their hair perfectly just to go to the grocery store

Of all things I could be doing
All the people I could be helping,
I'm here with you
In this place of security
Just you and me
The only place on the planet where I would desire to stay forever
With memories of the greatest times and worst times
Did you gander at me?
I still have a borrowed outfit.
You have seen me falter
I've seen you in the beginning of your end
I've seen the face of death take your baggage and check you in
For a flight to nowhere.
In short, I was terrified.

And could it be worth it?
After everything? Ups, downs, coffee, tea?
Amongst the small talk and huge talk between you and me?
Did I bite off more than I could chew?
Or have you picked someone who lacks the strength to hold you,
Like you desperately need to be held?
One day...
I'll tell you everything...
Rest my head on your shoulder
Hoping you'll tell me the same
The true story
No more lies.

Would it have been worth it?
After the teacups, lemon cakes, the laughter, the sorrow
The music, the theater, the everything...
And so much more.
How can I possibly put this into words...
Tell you what I mean?
I am no princess or queen
No Juliet or Cinderella,
No first lady, no damsel in distress,
Save me, rescue me, none of that.
Let me save you.
I'm still wearing a borrowed outfit
Stuck trying to fit the mold of what the world wants.
Honest, trusting,
Wary, frightened,
Cautious, spontaneous,
Conforming, Rebellious,
Often almost ridiculous
Never the player, always the played,
The gullible fool.

They dance under a lonely moon
Filled with a passion that will end too soon.

Should I wear my hair down?
Should I drink this lemonade?
I'll wear dark sunglasses and long sleeved cotton shirts
I've heard the children singing arm in arm.

But they won't sing for me.
For I am the hand-me-down stranger.
I've seen them skipping down the street
Through the paths in the park
Playing in the daisies.

Until we are back in the bus
Just you...me...
the bus driver...
and the man who smells like popcorn...
In outfits that aren't ours,
To a party where we don't belong
On a road that leads to nowhere,
And we wake up in a place where no one can hurt you.






*"Tomorrow at Dawn” by Victor Hugo
I will walk with my eyes fixed on my thoughts,
Without seeing anything outside, without hearing any noise,
Alone, unknown, back curved, hands crossed,
Sad, and the day for me will be like the night.

Love Like Nature.

Like the cool ocean breeze
Bringing goosebumps to your skin
Let my touch send chills down your spine
Sensation gathering
Tension rising
Whispers making your hairs stand on end
Begging please don't stop.

Like the intensity of sunset
Our bodies rise and fall together
Skin brushing skin
Beads of perspiration trailing down your silhouette
Softly rolling
Breathing quickly
Pulses rushing
Lips on collar bones
Taste the love seeping from my pores.

Like the aurora Borealis
Passion radiates
All else has disappeared
Aside from two young bodies
Wrapped in each other
Tiptoeing on the line between love and lust
Losing all control
Thrashing, scratching,
Gasping, quivering
And concluding in love drenched satisfaction.

Imperfect Perfection.

You breathe beauty
Tall, slender
Brown skin
Brown eyes
Muscles stretching
Over long legs and arms
Run my hands across your skin
Staggered breathing
Lips slightly parted
Whispers before your teeth
Bite my earlobe
Nails scratching
Arched back
Kisses down my neck
Perfect fingers running
Through the soft curls that
Fall wildly over the pillow
Skin to skin
All barriers removed
As you lay here beside me
The best you've ever had
Before you've even had me
Nothing exists but you and me
Two imperfect people
Engaging in something perfect
Feeling more stunning than anyone on earth
Getting satisfaction from giving you
Exactly what you've been waiting for
And enjoying the pleasure of
Knowing that you belong to me
And I am the girl who's made you love
And feel this way.