Reefer Madness.

Another creative writing class product.

“Even at lower doses marijuana impairs attention and coordination and affects the way the mind processes information. 50 percent of individuals aged 18 to 25 used the drug at least once.” – Marijuana Fast Facts at Justice.gov

(based on true events/conversations)

I wonder how many of our waking hours are spent being high…

If I were a mystical creature, I’d definitely be a

Color changing,

Size changing,

Breed changing,

Sometimes invisible dog.

Who would ever try to argue with a giant blue Saint Bernard with a barrel of whiskey around its neck?

That’s a big barrel of whiskey.

I wonder if a blue dog would slobber blue…

Like blue koolaid…

Have you ever even thought about questioning the flavors of koolaid?

Never is it grape or cherry or blue raspberry,

Just purple, red, or blue ‘drank’.

What is juice anyways?

It’s all made of real fruit, mostly apples.

I guess we prefer sugar, water, and color for our hydration purposes.

You know…I think it’s pretty risky to put an apple on your head

And let some blindfolded hooligan shoot an arrow at it all willy nilly.

What happens if he misses?

Bad decision, my friend.

You know what else is a bad decision?

Purple cauliflower. It really exists!

It belongs on another planet,

But not the planet we created out of playdoh.

The aliens probably wouldn’t like that vegetable either.

Maybe they would all turn into transformers and

Morph into giant robot dinosaurs stomping all over their playdoh castles

Yelling how angry they are that someone thought that purple cauliflower was a good idea.

That’s what I did, at least.

I am so hungry!

Did you know that 50 percent of people our age have smoked weed?

That means that the other 50 percent haven’t!

WHAT ARE THEY DOING?!

Do they not know that their nachos will taste a thousand times better

if they had some maryjane dancing in their systems?

Haha! Marijuana doing the dougie in my lungs! Yesss!

Even Barack Obama blazed back in his day,

Good ol’ Barry O being high as a June Balloon.

Clinton didn’t want to admit he smoked the reefer.

He said he didn’t inhale and didn’t enjoy it.

He obviously wasn’t doing it right.

Obama inhaled.

‘That was the point’ he said.

Dude! Feel my pulse! Raging!

It’s like…I need a nap right now,

But I really need a burrito.

Such a dilemma.

Am I the only one who thinks it would be awesome to have

Morgan Freeman narrate their life?

I wonder who narrates his life!

Maybe Mr. T or Bill Cosby.

But it can only be Bill Cosby if Mr. Freeman is wearing a badass sweater.

And maybe Superman narrates his life on three day weekends.

On a scale of one to Pluto, I am definitely soaring at Galaxy 45!

Superman high.

So high I am above the influence!

I wonder what Barack Obama is up to…

Probably smoking a bowl in a badass sweater.

God bless America.